Meo's Bridal Shower

My baby brother is getting married and I could not be happier!  Last August he surprised me with a phone call asking if he could bring some friends over to my house...we live over 600 miles apart so I was very excited and surprised that he was in my neck of the woods! Little did I know I would be meeting my future sister-in-law that day.  I really liked her the first time we meet and for my girls it was adoration at first sight! Needless to say I was very excited to throw her a bridal shower and with the help of both my Mom's, Aunt's and many wonderful cousins it was a really nice afternoon.  Many of you have been asking for pictures so I thought I would share a few.   

Everyone helping out getting the food ready.  

Our helpers also included my ever patient Dad and brother Chad. They helped us immensely by setting up tables, awnings and during crunch time my Dad even helped me hang lanterns and bells-he is awesome:)  

My cousin Laura made this cute cupcake dress

Thank you Printerest for this cute idea! 

Meo and her Mom. This is her sweet Mom's first time visiting The States, we fell in love with her too! 

Meo and my Mom 

The Groom to be visiting with Grandpa

We had adorable babies to play with

And even the bunny decided to make an appearance 

Love my Jenna Pie 

Nana keeping a watchful eye on little hands 

The Desert Table

 We served tea sandwiches with caprese salad, deviled eggs and fruit kabobs  

\

Of course we had to play some games

Time to open gifts

And then the rain came....so we moved inside

  

Even with the rain It ended up being a beautiful day for a beautiful bride! 

Does time heal all wounds?

15 years ago today Justin and I had been married for 5 months, we were 19, living in our first little apartment and were expecting our first baby.  We went to my doctors appointment for my 13 week check-up.  It was then that we were told our baby had stopped growing and that I would soon miscarry.  I still remember lying on the exam table while the ultrasound tech was doing the ultrasound. I remember the look on her face. I remember her asking me to get dressed while she got the doctor. I remember asking, "is that our baby" and questioning her hesitant yes, that the doctor would be in to talk with us.  She left and I knew something was wrong. Looking back, I knew even before that appointment that something was wrong.  I had felt it for a few weeks. About 4 weeks earlier I woke up one morning and I just didn't feel pregnant anymore. My morning sickness went away overnight; while I kept telling myself I was at 10 weeks and that was normal moving into my 2nd trimester, deep down I knew that the little spirit had left my body.  
No matter when you lose a child, it's devastating. Yes we were young, yes I was not very "far along" - but that baby was wanted, that baby was talked to, sang to and we were happily awaiting its arrival.  My heart was broken; our hearts were broken. Never did I think at that time that we would have to wait 8 more years to become parents.  
Now, 15 years later, I'm thinking about the 19 year old me. I remember her pain.  I remember feeling very alone. While people felt bad, they basically told me to get over it.  It was then that I learned what a blessing marriage can be.  Others sympathized, but no one understood me like Justin did.  It was OUR child we had lost.  That was our first big trial in our marriage and it brought us closer together than I ever knew two people could be.
About a year after our miscarriage we seriously started trying to get pregnant again. After six months I began to see what would become a long list of doctors.  I'm not sure if everyone woman who has had a miscarriage continues to feel that hurt, but I did.  I do think that because it took us so long to get pregnant again it made that miscarriage so much more painful.  For many years January 13th was the worst day of the year for me.  
Now, we are blessed to have two beautiful little girls who have made our lives complete.  But on January 13th my heart still turns to that little baby and my heart breaks for that young inexperienced couple. While I know we now live a very blessed life, and our two little girls are more than I thought I would ever be blessed with, I don't think my wounds are completely healed. They don't hurt nearly as bad they once did - and while I don't regret the path my life has taken - I still sometimes feel that same sad empty feeling I endured all the way back in 1998.
The one comfort that I have, that I have always had, is that we are an eternal family.  I'm so thankful that Justin and I decided to be sealed in the temple. I'm thankful for the sealing blessings of the priesthood; because of those blessings I know that little spirit is still ours and that one day we will have a very happy reunion.

It's been a while since my last post, and because I'm seriously procrastinating getting some PTA paperwork done I think I will give a quick up date as to what is going on in our lives.  I can't even remember the last time I did this so I'm starting with the beginning of the school year which honestly feels like started 6 months ago!  These past few months I don't think I am going to remember with warm fuzzy memories-just saying.  I was so excited when the school year started, had so many plans and then it almost fell completely apart. I had two key board members resign just before school started one of those being my fundraiser. Being a PTA president is a full time job, I do work 40 hours a week sometimes and to have the burden of fundraising was almost too much for me.  Plus our executive board is almost brand new with most having little to non PTA experience   I found myself training people in positions I have never had, the tool kit became my bible!

 We also found out during this time we would be moving, this came at the worst possible time of year for us.  From mid summer to fall is what I like to call "Fair" season, that means Justin is literally working 80+ hours a week and no I'm not exaggerating.  While it was a very stressful time for us and not the ideal time of year to move it was a huge blessing that we were offered the home we are renting now.  Looking back it was definitely one of those times that I don't know how we managed to survive. Justin moved almost all of our stuff after he would get off work at midnight.  He then would stay up to 2 a.m. moving boxes and furniture to the new place. The only way we were able to pull it off was with the help of good friends Joe came over a few times after work to help move a couch or two. The neighbors probably thought we were crazy rolling a freezer down the street in the middle of the night! I had two wonderful friends come over one morning. They packed up my old kitchen then came to the new house and unpacked it the same day.  We have been in the new place just a bit over a month and I love it, I'm almost all the way unpacked I just have a few pictures to hang up!

Now that we are more settled I'm hoping to fall into a routine again (keeping my fingers crossed!)  The girls are doing well in school and are happy.   Jenna decided to do another year of girls scouts and is now a Brownie. She is also participating in a Lego First League, it is a program designed for girls to teach them engineering skills.  They build amazing robots and structures that have motors and moving parts out of Legos. The girls have to use math and critical thinking skills to finish each project then they have to present an oral report to judges detailing their thought process and conclusions that they made. Last week they made a "swing" ride like the kind you find in amusement parks complete with little Lego people taking a ride!  She has also decided to swim again so starting next month she will be taking weekly swimming lessons.
Kayla has been anxiously waiting  two years for her turn to be a girl scout and is more than thrilled that she is finally old enough to join!  She is loving being a new Daisy!  She has also started taking a ballet/tap class and her first performance is this Christmas.


Although the fair is over Justin is still really busy, he is getting his staff ready for the upcoming shopping season.  Also he has been called to the Young Men's Presidency as the secretary not too much of a change from teaching the young men but now he helps out on Tuesday nights more.  He also has really stepped up these past few weeks helping me out, there is no way could I do what I do without him.


Although I am busier now than I think I have ever been in my life I love it, I love being a mom. That I can be on campus with my girls the whole day is a huge blessing. I enjoy taking them to G.S., dance class and on their little play dates.  My  only sadness I feel is that I miss our extended family a lot.  So I'm really happy that once again we will have a houseful for Thanksgiving! We are so blessed to have our dearest friends feast with us, along with my parents and Chad. We will forgive Anthony for missing this year, he is going to Idaho with his new girl friend so he is excused this one time:)  Happy times to look forward to!

Dear sweet mom who feels like she is failing.

Today has been one of those hard "mom" days.    I won't go into a lot of detail lets just say when you freak out over your kids asking you to open a can of mandarin oranges you know it's time to take a step back and breath.  I called Justin, he reminded me not everything has to be done today.  I decided to take a break from packing, cleaning and laundry. When I logged onto my computer this article was the first thing on my browser.  I feel like I'm failing a lot, I never get everything done in a day that I want too, I'm short tempered with my kids, and I lack patience.  As I read this I started to think of all the positive stuff I do with and for my girls, and I started thinking about all the good qualities my girls have and decided right now I need to be more sensitive to their little needs.  I forget that moving may be hard on them, and while not much is changing (we are just moving a few houses down) their world is still being turned upside down.  I shouldn't get so upset when Kayla empties out the donation box for the 4th time in a row, to her they are still her toys.  And Jenna my little pack rat is having a really hard time deciding what to take and what to donate.  I almost feel bad about this, but they have so many toys and I'm just worn out of keeping them all organized!  Needless to say this article gave me hope and made me feel better when I needed it most.  I'm sure most mom's have days like mine so I thought I would share, maybe it will lift someone else spirits like it did mine:)
http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-sweet-mom-who-feels-like-she-is.html

Saying Goodbye

Last Sunday I was released from my calling in the Young Women presidency.  I have served these wonderful girls for two and a half years and love them like they were my own daughters.  I have always felt they have done more for me than I have for them.  I will miss these girls dearly, we spent every Sunday and Tuesday night together along with many Saturday's doing service projects. This past week was our annual Young Women cabin trip and I was so happy to have one last trip with them! 

Finding their inner Katniss 

Making activity bags for the Pamona Valley Pediatric ward

Karaoke Los Serranos style.

 Only you can hear the music while singing ....ohh and we blind fold you just to make it more fun 

Love these girlies!

The Hillbilly Jacuzzi

My cute Beehive class.

They made me this very awesome blanket so I will always remember them! 

Me with all the Young Women

I don't think I could have bore to say goodbye without having these past few days with them.  They have a inner light that spreads joy to all they meet, they inspire me to be a better person and

 it has been a honor to have been apart of their lives.  

Kayla Turns 5!!!

Kayla turned 5 last April! I'm a little late posting this, but better late than never! 

Kayla has grown up so much this past year and I have decided I really love this age! She is still asking me about a thousand questions a day, but I love that she get's herself ready in the morning, does her own chores, and helps me cook and bake all with minimal help, which is rather nice! She is lot's of fun to play with and right now our life is filled with Barbies, La La Loopsy, dress-up, Rapunzel dolls, and doll houses!

She of course choose a Rapunzel Party!

She helped decorate her cake and made her first frosting rose-mommy was very proud! 

She wanted Rapunzel hair throughout the house and going out the door, we were a little short-oops!

  

Rapunzel with her trusty friend Pascal!

The Kingdom Dance-very fun

  

Her favorite gift!

Only a frying pan would do for her pinata!

Frying pan was fun, but sister finished the job with one big whack with the bat!  

Love all these little princesses! 

  The following week we had a Mommy & Kayla day at Disneyland! I had so much fun with her, she was very excited to choose everything we did and to be "in charge" of her day!  Her first request to see the princesses! She asked for a Cinderella dress for her Birthday so Cinderella was on the top of our list!

After a 80 minute wait (sigh) we were very happy to see Cinderella! You have no guarantee which princess you will see while visiting the Fantasy Fair and I will only wait in that line once a year on their birthday visit so mom was VERY relieved! 

The complete happiness of your child-worth the 80 minute wait!

Her very BIG Birthday cupcake, it's become a family tradition to get one of these on your birthday! 

Still the happiest place on earth!

Rapunzel is still number #1 so we had to stop by and say hi.

She was our last stop and as you can see Kayla was very worn out! 

I loved our day together, she is so much fun to chat with and filled with so much imagination I just wish I could bottle it up and keep it forever! 

Softball! 

Kayla getting in the "zone" for game day!

 Softball is now over and I'm missing it! 

I loved watching her run to the pitchers mound on her first hit, watching her play in the dirt in the outfield during a game and just doing all the cute little things that kids this age playing T-ball do!  But by far my most favorite was watching her improvement. Seeing her learn to hit, run all the bases and by the end paying a bit more attention to the outfield was the best!  

Pre-School Graduation!

Today my baby graduated from Pre-School...if I could freeze time for just a bit I think I will! My kids are growing up way too fast and I just want to keep them this age for just a little bit longer! 

Yup now she is one smart cookie!

Kayla with Ms. Tami and Ms. Heather

These wonderful ladies have been apart of our lives for three years now! It will feel very different next year not seeing them a few times a week-it's a good thing we will see them on Sunday's at church or else a lot more tears would have been shed today! 

Hurray for Graduation day!!!!  

Our beautiful girl is all ready for Kindergarten! I will miss her dearly when she goes. She is my little shopping/errand running buddy and the house will seem very quiet in the mornings without her little chatter!